Today my therapist told me I am making progress. I felt a certain sensation and then all the disempowerment war began again in earnest. She drew a diagram showing a feedback loop my internal dialogue triggering emotions and reacting. I guess the progress is I don't constantly destroy my faith in my wellness. i.e. drinking sex smoking shopping.I can see the best way of quelling the war is the all-engrossing process of playing music for therapy and with the intent that I may yet be seen and heard for what I know before every thing fades on me.
It is a healthier method of coping with the demons of domestication.I have learned and, with no one leading me elsewhere, may yet overcome this part of my personality
and find the unexpressed art still in the wilderness within.
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